Far, Far Better Than A Colonoscopy!

My father was not much of an advice giver, and for many years I was grateful for that trait of his.  One thing he said did stick with me - as you get older, make sure your physicians, lawyers, financial advisors, and such are younger than you are, in fact, much younger than you are.  That way, when you probably need them most, they won't have retired.

To a great extent, I have taken that advice, and it has worked out pretty well.  With one exception.

My internist.  His parents and mine were friends, and we've known each other for - well, a very long time - and when I returned to the Twin Cities in the late 1970s, he became my physician.  And that relationship has been an excellent one in every respect.

Except one.   I haven't much enjoyed my three adventures with him in matters colonoscopic.  It's not the procedure; it's the preparation.  Once that's over, and the happy juice starts flowing at the beginning of the long trip up and back, it's just a question of time.  Not much discomfort, some amusing conversation, and then you toddle home and collapse for the rest of the day - or nowadays - for that day as well as the next.

In early June, I survived the preparation for what well may have been my last  colonoscopy, and all things considered, the procedure went well, and the report turned out to be  excellent.


At the end of the first procedure, I came out of the fog, sat up and looked at all the medical equipment surrounding me and said to Nurse Jennifer, "This place looks like a scene from a James Bond film."  She asked me which one, and apparently I replied "The Riddle of the Sphincter."  I don't remember it very clearly, but others apparently did.


Five years after that, I knew I had to come up with some sort of similar line in case Jennifer was on duty for my next procedure.  She was, so I said I had kind of a silly question to ask her; that turned out to be, "You know, Jennifer, that powder in that gallon size plastic jug was really hard to get down...should I have mixed that with something?  [Yeah, well it was more successful than you might have guessed....]


This year I approached the event with the usual reluctance, but knowing that my doctor was cutting back on his practice and eliminating colonoscopies, etc., from his repertoire, I wrote him a letter of appreciation and made sure to include an observation about my thanks for  his always approaching his task with rectitude.


Maybe he appreciated it.....