Not Only Short People

I've known for some time that as one ages, one's height changes. This compacting process occurs very slowly; I didn't take much note of it until I realized that the cuffs of my pants were frequently under my shoes. This made walking something of a challenge, and eventually the material would divide - where the young have rips at the knees of their pants,we seniors have them at the level of the cuff....

I came up with a guy decision and just rolled my pants legs up a titch and joined that large cadre of old men who look absolutely weird to people under thirty-five...you know, the geezers you used to see in the hardware store in the tool department looking as though they were out on a day pass and potentially dangerous. But after all, the pants are mostly pretty near shot anyway, and why spend $12 bucks to have them hemmed?

I had just figured all this out, when I discovered something which accompanies increased shortness - that is, most of the furniture you sit in has suddenly gotten closer to the floor...so much closer that getting out of a chair or sofa has become a regular lesson in the geometry of getting up and out.

Finally, once you are up and have your bearings, the first steps tend to be reminiscent of Popeye's rolling gait (you remember Popeye, don't you?). Once you have the feet moving, and once momentum reaches a certain point, then walking becomes almost fun - well, OK, it becomes bearable.

So much fun that you'd damn well have an ibuprofen or two close to hand and not be sitting down when you realize you need it. Forewarned is forearmed, after all.