A Tale Told By Not Quite An Idiot, Full Of Sound and Fury....

I was wasting away the tail end of an evening as the new Minnesota season I call "Hell," because it was very hot and very humid for several weeks, far beyond what we northerners deem appropriate in that short stretch from Memorial Day to Labor Day.

So the tv was on, and a news story passed by about all the deafness which adults are suffering from for all the reasons we should know - music too loud on headphones or in earbuds, artificial sound reinforcement at athletic events (I notice it most at college hockey games, and although I've never been to a rock concert, I'm led to believe that they batter the ears continuously.

Last weekend, K and I attended a 45th anniversary party of a couple of old friends - thoughtful, generous, and very smart people, who love nothing more than a good party and who know, better than most, how to pull it off.

Many of the guests were my age a bit older, and we walked inside a big tent for an absolutely superb meal at tables of six. I hadn't seen a couple of table mates for some time, and the other couple K and I see regularly so the conversation was interesting and animated...well, until the musical group began to play.

Loudly, because they were inside the tent, and the amplified sound couldn't find a place to escape. Looking at the musicians, they had accumulated a lot of experience, and I believe that they are no different from radio announcers who wear headphones as they work. Over time, their hearing takes a beating.

Let me summarize: Here is a group of interesting old farts in a magnificent setting about to tear into an exquisite dinner, all of whom would like nothing more than to chat, in spite of the high probability that many of them (us) would lose the mid-range speech because of the conversational din (before music). And at our age, the persistent concentration required to decode what somebody else is saying, is tiring. Very tiring.

When the music started, conversation became impossible, and while the dancers were glad for the music, those who might not be able to dance for whatever reason, really couldn't have a conversation without a good deal of effort.

Once your hearing is impaired, you either find external help with some sort of hearing aid, or you suffer, with all the negative outcomes which you can imagine.

So if you're entertaining, consider the hearing health of your guests. If you're going to a noisy athletic event, buy some earplugs to knock the sound back at least ten decibels. Or you could find a place to cast sound reducers for you - these still allow you to chat with the people in your vicinity. Sure, they look a little goofy, but it's better than having to put you hand to your ear all the time to focus whatever sound somebody might be aiming in your direction. I bought mine a couple of years ago, and they've been really helpful.

You have been warned....